As most of you would be aware I care for my 91 year old Dad. He is in the final stages of his life and my life is pretty much consumed with him at the moment. He is getting more and more frail every day, finds it very difficult to speak, has no appetite, so eats almost nothing, cannot get out of bed or even sit up himself. I know I am not the only one finding these days hard, but I can only comment on my feelings. It is really such a privilege to spend this time with him – just as they were with my Mum. I am really just working on auto pilot at the moment – doing some of the daily things that have to be done, but not really thinking about it. I know I would not want anything new or unusual to pop up, I don’t think I could deal with it. My feelings are sort of numb, not feeling sad or happy just being. There have only been two other times in my life when I have felt like this and they were when my marriage dissolved and when my Mum was in hospital dying. Friends say how I am doing a wonderful job, but I don’t look at it that way, I am just looking after my Dad. It is hard but it is only a short time out of my life. I am sorry if I am repeating myself but I am using my blog to just get my feelings out there.
** “Davine Time” update – it’s like Ground Hog Day – I am sitting in bed reading some blogs.
I am thinking of you and holding you up even if I am a million miles away. Take peace where you can find it and auto pilot is a good place right now. ((((((hugs))))))
ReplyDeleteBest to let your feelings out Davine, & maybe this is the best way you can for you.
ReplyDeleteWe are listening, my thoughts are with you.
Not an easy time.
Today would have been my father's birthday, but he died five years ago.
Just take care! Your father is so lucky to have you, & I'm sure you feel the same way about him.
Thinking of you!
Thinking of you Davine and sending happy thoughts - you are doing one of life's hardest jobs... but you are doing it great!
ReplyDeleteLove Jenny
x
Davine, I too send huge hugs from across the miles. If auto pilot works for you then use it, and here is a good place to express your emotions. Just let them out, you have friends here who understand life.
ReplyDeleteTake care my friend. And good orderly direction be with you. :-)
I know how you are feeling!! I felt the same way when my dad was in about the same place as yours!! You are just doing the best you can right! Take care!
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